Betch Please: Descend the Trend

9:50 AM

Not all trends were created equal... as in NOT for everyone. Some trends shouldn't exist at all and some can be cute but depends on the person/age/body type. Maxi dresses and skirts are one trend that look good on everyone, however, short-shorts? Not. So. Much. While Miley Cyrus does have a great a$$, this look isn't very flattering on her or ANYONE for that matter.

High-waisted shorts can be very cute if worn correctly, however some girls (me included) just shouldn't be wearing them, plain and simple. I'm workin' with, what I like to call, "meat sticks". As a former gymnast, I've got some short, muscular legs that do not appear to be going away... sigh. Women who do not have tooth pick legs can very rarely get away with high-waisted shorts. Sad, but true. Not to pick on Scar Jo or anything, because I think she's super fine, but she has a habit of wearing unflattering ensembles for her curvy body type. 

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

Even if you ARE a skinny stick, there is such a thing as taking a trend too far. Short-shorts, high-waisted shorts, hot pants are trendy and all but, pull them too far up and you're trendy look goes out the window, leaving you with nothing but a raging camel toe, or camel toe starter kit, as seen on Vanessa Hudgens below.

REAL life camel toe pic snapped by yours truly during my trip to Israel circa '07... it's come in handy on more than one occasion. You'd be surprised.

Another trend that seems to be taken advantage of quite frequently is the bandage dress. Tight clothing in general needs to be worn with extreme caution. Just because it's tight and can be used to suck in SOME gut doesn't mean it can perform miracles. I mean, even spanx have their limits. Use your head... or just a MIRROR, and if the shit don't fit then do yourself (and the rest of us) a favor and DON'T wear it, otherwise you'll end up lookin' like this hot mess. Brace yourselves for the stuffed sausage below...

I didn't know it was possible for fabric to cry....YIKES. Tight clothes on a fuller figure just serves to make you look larger. Great thing is there's a million other options you could wear and still look hot. You see, in an effort to make money, clothing designers created more than one type of dress... can you believe it Xtina?? Go up a size, buy a different more flattering style, whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstance, consult Christina Aguilera's stylist.

Don't be a slave to trends... if it doesn't work for you, then don't wear it. Descend the trend. I repeat: Descend. The. Trend. What good is a trendy item if it makes you look like a heffer? Dress to show off your attributes and leave something to the imagination you floozie betch. When assessing a trend, it's best to, again, consult the mirror and ask yourself WWKW=  What Would Kate Wear. Use common sense and please, don't be that girl....

xoxo, betches.

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