A Letter to J.Crew

11:19 AM

Dear J.Crew,

We have had a long standing relationship with one another and there's been a few things bothering me lately that we have to discuss.

#1 on the list is your sizing. It, for a lack of better words, SUCKS. What exactly is going on over there? In what world is a size SMALL comparable to a 4 person tent? Are you secretly strategizing to be the next Lane Bryant? I can tell you right now, that big boned betch isn't gonna have any of that. I've noticed all the mannequins require clips on the back of the clothes to make them appear to fit... just make them smaller already! OR get new plus-sized mannequins and wait for the wrath of Lane. I just don't understand how you can claim to be selling timeless looks that are consistent with current trends while at the same time alienating the trendsetters with your whack sizing. You think Alexa Chung's skeletal body can fit into your 00? That ish would swallow her in a second. You're gonna have a bigger issue on your hands when all these skinny betches start disappearing because they are lost for days trying to navigate their way around one of your XS dresses.

#2 is your ever rising prices. I give you exhibit A: J.Crew Printed Silk-Crepe maxi skirt retailing for $475.

WHAT the hell. $500 for a skirt? Who do you think you are!? Stop trying to be the new 'IT' ready-wear line. You have a place, and it's with GAP & Banana Republic. NOT with the big boys. And what's up with your sister store, Madewell, getting in on the action? $386 for a chambray shirt? That's just greedy.

So now that that's off my chest, I hope we can move forward. Trust this hurts me more than it hurts you. I still love your catalogs, clothes, FANTASTIC customer service (Zara could learn a few things from you), the red phone, AND your color stories every single season never cease to amaze me. Just please, PLEASE, I beg you, get real about living your life.

Yours truly, 

Fetch Betch LA

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  1. truth. I can't wear JCrew pants/skirts/etc. Sizing is definitely off.

  2. This line:
    "You have a place, and it's with GAP & Banana Republic. NOT with the big boys."

    THANK YOU! Seriously?? Get over yourselves and don't lose the only demographic you've got working for you, J. Crew. I've tossed the last 3 magazines straight into my recycle bin because I don't like being teased, so why bother looking?